R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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