My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
