Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You have to summon your inner elephant
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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