It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
