i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
