Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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