VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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