There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize