Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
