Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
