It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
