Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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