"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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