Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
