oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
