Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
