I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
