If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
