BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
