I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
