yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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