Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
