Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
