yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The cops high fived after they tackled you
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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