Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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