after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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