i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
