I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I understand Curling. That high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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