My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
