i just google imaged poop.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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