fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
