Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
