I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
