I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
