I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
