I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize