They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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