forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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