I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
