I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize