i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
