you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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