You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
