so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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