Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your cock deserves a montage
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
