Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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