he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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