I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
