the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
