i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
