Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
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We don't watch enough power rangers
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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