it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wear drunk well.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
