And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
