Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
