My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
