that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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